Platonic Cuddling

I was hanging out in the Pace University library today, and the question came up as to whether platonic cuddling was possible. Now, before I begin my logical rant, I want to define what I mean by platonic cuddling. Platonic cuddling is a close and affectionate (and often prolonged) embrace that is not sexual in nature. Earlier today, I learned about another definition of platonic, from Anja, my friend. She explained to me what I now know was one of Plato's philosophical views, whereby a person or relationship is platonic, or free from physical desire. Urban Dictionary also has a definition for platonic cuddling, but it sounds more like a friends with benefits situation. I have also seen platonic cuddling between members of different species, like the tiger and the girl picture in this blog.


But in this blog, I merely want to talk about cuddling in a platonic nature. Is it possible in theory? and, probably more importantly: in what situations will platonic cuddling be acceptable?


Cuddling is a purely physical act that is done for many reasons. Usually it is for comfort but it may be used as a falling action after climax (sex), or before sex as a form of rising action, most commonly known as foreplay. However it doesn't always have to deal directly with sex. Many times people cuddle just to be comfortable, and to feel a certain closeness. That closeness is what most people find non-platonic about cuddling.


However, it is my personal belief that platonic cuddling can be achieved without the closeness usually felt in cuddling. Another friend of mine disagrees. She believes that cuddling that is platonic in nature is not achievable, merely because the closeness, and emotional aspect of cuddling would overcome any friendly aspect of a relationship. Again I disagree. Cuddling is a physical act, while usually associated with emotion, and closeness, it does not necessarily need to be associated with them. If a close embrace, like a hello hug, need not be emotional, then why does cuddling need to be emotional? Especially when it is done merely for the physical comfort and not for any emotional comfort.


Some forms of cuddling are undoubtedly platonic, and include an emotional aspect, that one might call love. I think any type of cuddling between best friends, are platonic. Many times people feel a love for their best friend, that is non sexual, but one that is more reminiscent of love for a family member. A mothers embrace for a child is platonic, as well as embracing a friend to comfort them, such as when they are crying after an emotional day. Embracing a close friend and giving them a shoulder to cry on is an ultimate form of platonic love, and it includes cuddling.


But cuddling can also be done horizontally (like on a bed, floor or couch, where both parties are lying down), which may, to some, seem like something more. Many people might argue that horizontal platonic cuddling does not exist, but in theory, I can think of at least 3 situations in which it does. Accidental, Purposeful, and Group Cuddling can all be considered platonic forms of horizontal cuddling.


Accidental horizontal cuddling can best be explained by example. Lets assume we have two individuals, who happen to be friends without sexual, or physical desire for each other. These two individuals may be doing some mundane task, such as watching a boring movie, fox news, or homework. Lets now imagine that these two individuals fall asleep, and while unconscious move into a position that is comforting for them both. When one of them wakes up, they may find comfort in the other persons warmth. While this is a physical pleasure (much like the pleasure we all feel in the morning hours when we are warm under our blankets), it is very much platonic in nature.


Purposeful cuddling can also be a form of horizontal platonic cuddling. An example of this can be cuddling to prevent cold, cuddling to give a person a shoulder to cry on, or cuddling to fight some sort of political agenda (like cuddling for peace). This type of cuddling is also dangerous, and can easily be cheated by any one of the party. How many times have we not seen a movie or television show where two people are freezing and the male suggests to the female that they both get naked and cuddle since the best heat is body heat. Now you know it can be cheated, and you have been warned.

Cuddling in a group is one of the last ways cuddling can be platonic. Think it does not exhist? Here is proof!

Now, I don't know what you readers think, but these people look extremely comfortable! Peaceful, nonsexual group cuddling between friends, unfortunately, is something not often practiced here in the U.S. I believe this type of cuddling has a very calming effect on the human psyche. I also believe that if people cuddle more often in groups, we may care about each other more. Perhaps it is only when we feel each others warmth, when we look into each others eyes, and when we pay attention to the awareness within our friends, that we can really know the true value of a human life. Platonic cuddling may not be widely practiced, but used in this way, it has the power to prevent wars.


On a slightly different note, the reason this blog entry exists is a statement to the nature of the human condition in 2009. In my opinion nothing could be more beautiful than caring so much for another person that you decide to simply take some time out to pay attention to them. Paying attention to what someone is saying is gratifying to the person talking, but paying attention to a persons inner being, the awareness or presence within the human body is another level of communication in which words cannot describe. This type of comfort may make a person feel vulnerable, which is why so many of my friends object to the idea the platonic cuddling is possible.


In reality the vulnerability they feel is normal. How often do we have someone peer into our true being without having to go through words, race, class, gender, or sexual identity. Cuddling is a form of breaking bearers between people, and, by paying attention to another person (and not just the physical person, but the awareness which is in each of us now), then true closeness and clarity can be achieved.


The fear of vulnerability may not be the only reason my friends are afraid to admit platonic cuddling exists. It may actually be deeper, such as a fear of intimacy. How many times have we actually felt someone else's awareness and presence? How many times have we stopped to acknowledge someones existence, not through words, or showing compassion, but by just lying down and enjoying someone else's ability to share a moment, and a space with you? If this seems too intimate, then it is unfortunate. I firmly believe that acknowledging someones presence can easily be done with cuddling, and the awkward intimacy someone might feel comes from not being payed attention to enough.


People are always on the cell phones, or trying to be funny, or showing a persona that is not them true selves. I am not a word, or a personality, or an emotion. I am a human being. I go through ups and downs, and the only part of my being that is consistent is the being within me that is attentive. The one that is here now aware of my surroundings. The presence of a sentient organism. Perhaps those more spiritual than me may even go as far as to call it a soul. We have lost touch with each other, and perhaps noticing each others soul is the only way to reconnect. It may be the answer to all of our problems.

Platonic cuddling should not be shunned as impossible but should be sought after. Only through love can we end war, even if it is just the love of a friend, or the love of an embrace. It need not be sexual or embarrassing, or awkward. Love is simply this: the ability to notice another persons soul. The sun does it every morning, with it's warmth upon my face. I can honestly say, I have never felt more alive and present than when I am cuddling. Not sex, nor happiness, nor excitement can emulate the emotion of calm, warmth, and attention given to me when I am being embraced by a close friend or girlfriend. Cuddle away. Love each other. And please, for the love of one another, and to show respect, keep it platonic.

Michael Moore's Will They Ever Trust Us Again?

I just finished reading Michael Moore's book, and I must say it is a very compelling pro troop piece of literature. All of the stories were written from troops, or from family and friends of people who have, or are currently serving in the U.S. military.

It is no secret that in the era of GWB, and in the post 9/11 America, U.S. patriotism reached a point where it became muddled with other ideas, such as support for the war. Supporting our troops and supporting the war in Iraq and Afghanistan are two different things. I first want to thank all the troops who are fighting in the war currently, and I also want to thank all the troops who have fought. It is because of you that this country is great. I also want to thank other patriots, such as Michael Moore, who have decided to point out injustice, and to fight for a cause. It is because of you, that Americans have a better understanding of the war, and the issues facing our troops.

The truth of the matter is, to be non supporter of health care reform, to support the war (while americans are dying needlessly, and without reason), to say gay people do not have the right to marry, is the equivalent of not caring about anyone. People who do this are mostly selfish rightwingers. But it is not only the republicans, and conservatives, but also some people who consider themselves liberal! Some people who consider themselves liberal believe they don't need to hear the stories of the people in war, because they know the people in war are suffering. Or they don't want to hear about PTSD, because they say it is too depressing, and they reply "why do you always have to talk about war all the time?"

Here is a clip from Good Asian Drivers. Maybe after listening more people will care:

A Refund!

It seems like just yesterday when I was on half.com purchasing my first copy of Richard Dawkins The Greatest Show on Earth. However, it was a lot longer.

In September I purchased this book. It is supposed to be one of the most compelling arguments, to date, in favor of the theory of Evolution. Of course, the number one most compelling argument ever put forth was Darwins Origin of Species. But I just had to read Dawkins book. I had read Dawkins work before, a book many atheists hold as their bible, called, The God Delusion. It puts forth the argument for atheism. But after a long waiting period, it became apparent that I wasn't going to receive the book. The seller wrote to me telling me she sent it, but after the standard waiting period no book came. She promptly refunded me my money and shipping and handling. $18.99.

This worked out in my favor, since I found a new copy of the book on half.com for less than $18. My only hope is that this copy arrives in my hands soon.

I finished reading the dangerous world of butterflies, and the diamond of darkhold.

I am currently reading Will They Ever Trust Us Again by Michael Moore. It is a compelling argument against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, straight from the soldiers and their families. This book is really an accumulation of letters sent to Michael Moore from soldiers who are against the war.

What surprised me was the right wing propaganda that is so rampant in todays armed forces. The way it is described, it sounds like a breeding ground for republicans. It is also pretty sad, since the armed forces attracts so many underprivileged young people looking for opportunity, but unaware that they are signing their life away.

Overall, it is one of those books that should be read, while seeing movies like Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11, and Zeitgeist.

But until The greatest story on earth comes, I will have to find something else to read.

Graveyard Shift

Some people think that working the graveyard shift is a walk in the park. They should walk 8 hours in my shoes...

Working the graveyard shift is difficult, because it is the shift where people are the most drunk. Drunk people checking in. Drunk people checking out. And drunk hobos without reservations trying to get a place to stay for the night.

The worst part is, the people who come late to check in, after they were charged for not showing up for the night. Everytime someone calls asking about our check in time, I let them know it is between 4p.m. and 1.am.

I personally believe this is a large window of time to check in. However, I let people know that if they need to do a late check in (after 1.a.m), they should call the front desk so someone can write a note in their reservation. So why is it that I get people checking in for the 24th on the 25th at 4 a.m.? Don't they need to know they have to check out by 11? It seems pointless. but the worst part is setting up their reservation again after it has been cancelled and charged for not showing up. Now I am not complaining, I have a great job, and it is a lot easier than other jobs, but refunding a payment to a customer who was charged is not the best part of my night.

I am not alone however. I do get some company from Danny, the security who works the night shift here. He is a good man. Although the two of us know, from firsthand experience the consequences of working this shift.

Our sleeping schedules get messed up. Imagine breaking night, in a place where the lights are on and the music is blasting. I like to listen to palladia. They always have an interesting mix of rock, country, pop, and hip hop. Yeah, I said it right, and don't worry, I'm confused too.

But I keep myself busy. We restock the fridge, and make sure everything is ready for the person who is next on the shift. This includes keeping the work area clean, answering emails, and even taking all the pages of people who checked out, out of our files marked "in house" . But I love working at the L. It is an awesome job. I sometimes get upset when my coworkers start to preach to me, but in the end I love meeting new people. Each shift is an 8 hour speed dating special. I don't fall in love, or even hook up with guests, but it is very similar. Even if I did, I know it will never work out because they are all from out of town. This whole long distance thing never works out.

But by meeting new people, I am starting to notice some bizarre trends. I don't want to make any negative comments about any people from any particular country, but I am noticing some trends. Does that make me a racist, if the people who frequent this hostel, from particular regions all have similar traits? Not that they all have a particular trait, but the propensity for specific traits is higher in some populations than in others. Noticing trends does not make me racist. It just makes me more savy, and it better equips me top deal with people. Don't judge me!

What is really sad is when you develop a close relationship with a customer, and then that customer has to leave, or has a problem that I am unable to solve. This must be how the health insurance companies feel. They promise people they would help pay for medical bills, and then when something comes up, they bail. There is one customer in particular... Joel, a coworker, claims she praises me, but I don't believe that is completely true. She is always really nice to me. She is a lot older than me, but we always kid around. She has had some problems with other people who work here, and I always have to convince her to stay. She has never given me any problems when I work my shift, and I don't know what problems she had with other people, but it makes me sad to see her upset. I guess that comes with the territory of friend.

It is also dangerous to get to know the guests to well. Not only because of the conflict of interest it creates, but also because some guests get too comfortable.

But I wont say anything bad about them. So I am going to go now.

Updates All Around!!!

I have not updated my blog in too long. It appears I have let this blog slip from the top of my fingertips.

As an update, I will be the Mad Hatter for Halloween!!! Not the mad hatter from the disney version of alice and wonderland, but an original mad hatter inspired by Tim Burtons work.

If you wish to see the trailer, it is available here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjMkNrX60mA

I do not have the orange hair, but I do have a hat, makeup, yellow contacts, and a pretty bow. Pictures will be posted as soon as I have them available.

I also have been reading many books since I last wrote here. I have read the entire series of the city of ember.
In truth, the first and second books (City of Ember, and People of Sparks) were better than the Prophet on Yonwood, and the Diamond of Darkhold. In all, these books give some insight as to what may be the future of our human civilization, even though they are only childrens books. The Prophet of Yonwood in particular sounds like it could have taken place in todays society, with war, and a constant feeling of dread perpetually being fed into our minds through the mass media.

I have also finished reading the Dangerous World of Butterflies. It is an exceptional book, and I believe it went well with the Orchid Theif. They both are books that look at a natural subject, but the main focus of the books has little to do with nature, and more to do with the people that research the subjects, and deal with them on a daily basis. Butterfly and Orchid smuggling go hand in hand, and I was very interested when the Laufer admitted the similarities of his and Orleans book.

I am still in NYC, and working at the hostel. I made employee of the month, which earned me a new Ipod Nano. It is pretty cool. I use it to watch podcasts such as CNN news, and Countdown with Keith Olbermann. No, I am not a liberal, I am a moderate, but I still watch CNN and MSNBC. The Ipod can also record video, and it has radio. It was amazing when I was learning how to use it. motion sensitive, and a pedometer, are some of the many functions included as well. I hope to continue to do great work, but I am not sure how many more "employee of the month" or quarter, I can get. I would love to receive another gift, and the prestige again, but who wouldn't. Also, I am afraid that it will create some animosity between me and my coworkers.

Tomorrow I will be going to video games live! It is a concert (at the Beacon theatre tomorrow, but they travel worldwide), that plays music from video games. They allow the crowd to record, and I have great seats, so I will see, and most likely have video, of how it all went down!

I am currently reading Will they Trust Us Again by Michael Moore. Since I just started it, I am not sure how good it is yet.

I am still waiting for a book by Richard Dawkins to come. I purchased it on half.com, and it is supposed to arrive before the 26th, but as the date nears, I am worried I will not have the book in my hands by Halloween. If anything I will contact the seller, but I should not have to go through such pains. Also, I can always purchase books from the Strand in NYC, one of my favorite book stores.

I also have been trying to get in contact with some of my friends, but I am not sure I have much to talk about with them. I miss them. I miss Vermont, and I wish I can go back to college.

Maybe one day.