When Violence Is Uncalled For

Violence is always uncalled for. No matter what someone says, or does, violence is always uncalled for.

I have been picked on in school when I was younger. I was always beaten, and always abused, both verbally and physically. Everyone has dealt with bullies once or twice in their life, but they seemed to attract around me like flies to a light.

My stepdad, Piry used to tell me to man up. He used to tell me to work out, and fight back. This animalistic ritual of fighting is never the answer. Yes, it might get one bully off your back, but losing your civilized mind, to become like an animal, and giving into those animalistic feelings, are not worth it.

So if someone were to tell me Puerto Ricans were statistically lazy, or statistically more violent than white people, I'd agree. First of all the statistics are true. Puerto Ricans are more likely to join gangs, and less likely to have good jobs for long periods of time. It is all true, there is nothing to argue. I am Puerto Rican, and I am not like that, but that doesn't mean there isn't a trend, so I do not get upset. When they shout those statistics, I am confident in saying I am an outlier, and it makes me happy.

However some people are not so happy when they hear the facts. They start screaming racism, and resorting to violence, and thus, they perpetuate the things that are said about them. Instead of saying "Oh, I will show them", and going out and getting a college degree, and a good job, they get upset and act like animals, and become violent, or threaten violence. WHY??? WHY??? WHY???

In life I have fought to defend myself physically. That is the only time it is okay to be violent. When your life is in danger. It is not okay to be violent when someone calls me a spic, and not okay to be violent when someone says I am no good, or lazy, even if these things are not true. I do not feel the need to beat people up who shout out stupidities.

But I do think there is a problem when other people feel the need to get violent, or to threaten violence. Words should never lead to violence. Sticks and stones, remember?

If I am saying something, and we are having a discussion, no one should ever tell me to shut up or they will slap me. This urge to violence, this compulsion, this pent up emotion expressing itself in physical form is juvenile, and anyone who gives into it is setting their people back thousands of years.

A few days ago, I was mugged. They took some food I brought at a grocery store, and I didn't fight back. The people who resorted to violence against me, set themselves back. They became a statistic to add into a long line of statistics. But most of all, they showed the difference between them and me. I have gotten into heated discussions in high school and in college, but I never felt the need to harm another person.

Biophilia is the love of living things. I have biophilia, and so I became a biologist. I grow orchids, and geckos in my house, and I feel strange in NYC, where I am not constantly surrounded by trees, or birds. I am comfortable in my life, and my love of life. And just because I am an easy target for people with less than good intentions, does not mean there is anything wrong with me, or that I need to "Man Up". My stepfather was wrong, and now he is in jail, another statistic, paying for the consequences of his actions.

I wonder if people who have the "Man Up" mentality aren't setting themselves up for failure. Instead of getting strong physically to intimidate people into giving you what you want, how about being different than what the statistics say you should be? How about going to college, and then getting a job, and not losing that job? How about, instead of "Manning Up", you grow up, and live in a civilized world, where survival of the fittest doesn't apply because everyone is well fed and thus surviving? (at least this is the case throughout most of America).

Most homeless people are starving, and not even they have the survival of the fittest mentality. They walk through the train stations asking for food, and donations so they can get something to eat. And yes, many of them have mental problems or vices, but they do not resort to intimidation or violence to survive. Meanwhile, other people feel the need to resort to these tactics to obtain something less than survival, like a new pair of shoes or a coat. Why is this so? What is going on in these peoples heads? And why is such behavior more prevalent in some races than in others?

It may be cultural or socio-economic, but the truth is, no matter what the reason is, it is wrong. Violence, unless it is an attempt to defend yourself is always wrong. It is wrong to be violent against your family, against the people you disagree with, and even against the people who are out to get you. This is 2010, and we have cell phones, and the internet, and have put a man on the moon, and have found out how to get energy from the sun. Either join society, or go to the jungle and act like an animal. But don't terrorize society because you can't control your emotions and have a grudge. And certainly don't blame society for your obvious shortcomings. For your inability to control your anger, or your emotions. For your overreactions to mere words. Society doesn't need to Man Up. YOU need to Grow Up.

Bring on The Zombie Apocalypse, When Terrible isn't Terrible

Nowadays, it seems like you can hardly look at pop culture sci-fi on a forum without coming up to a reference of the zombie apocalypse.

Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, Night of the Living Dead, ZombieLand, World War Z, Cell, and even the video game Left 4 Dead. In recent years people have become obsessed with the zombie apocalypse! In the 80's and 90's people were more terrified of the robot apocalypse, with movies like Terminator, multiple video games on the genre, and the book How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion

But will the zombie apocalypse be so bad? What is a zombie but an undead creature walking around in search for something to eat. Yes it is more animalistic than our current state, but is it anymore animalistic than any other scavenger?

The truth is, most of the time, people wander around, do some work, and get money, to then pay rent and eat. While working Saturday, the day before Halloween, a zombie came into the store and asked for some water, and the thought came to me, that a zombie apocalypse wouldn't be so bad. Not at all. While walking home from work, I passed by many people, and in my mind, I saw them all as zombies. There was no real difference. They seemed to walk around aimlessly, but it wasn't too hard to imagine.

It would be terrible though, but exciting. I think the sentiments were best expressed by Willy Wonka, in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Watch the video linked until about 3 minutes and 15 seconds in.

Watch the Video

Willy Wonka knew when terrible wasn't terrible. Because sometimes terrible is used to describe degree rather than good or bad. For example, you can have a bad cough, an intense cough, or a terrible cough. They all mean the same thing, with the word before "cough" signaling it's intensity. If zombies were to start taking over, many people would be frightened, but I would welcome the change. We need a change. Any change. Too many things have been the same for too long.

Which I why I welcome small changes. As many of my readers know, I am not a very happy person, but I sometimes do get a chance to smile. This is a welcome change. It is also usually, very abrupt. But usually I stop smiling and look away after a while, not because it is bad, but because it is terrible.

Next time, I hope it lasts.

The Secret Cell Phone Sacrifice

My iphone is currently being restored to it's factory settings, latest firmware, and original software. Why? I am giving it away.

I got tired of the hackers being one step behind apple, and constantly waiting for the next unlock while I used an older phone which was less than adequate for sending text messages in 2010. Who texts using a dial pad anymore anyway?

My sister has connections, and she is going to get me a better phone. So I have to make a sacrifice, and give her my iPhone. So for a while I will have no text plus, no internet access where Wi-Fi is available, and none of the other great things Apple has made openly available to those with enough money.

I hope the new phone I get lives up to it's name. I hope the sacrifice I made by giving up my iPhone was worth it.

Very short blog today (comparatively). Also might not be able to tumblr much until I get my new phone, since I used my iPhone to take pictures, and post them to tumblr.

Oh what a sad day it is.

Sweet Sarracenia Solace

This week I recently started a blog all about Plants on Tumblr. This blog is about cool plants I see every once in a while, and where they can be found.

Recently I have been feeling a little down, but since going to the Botanical Gardens with Ernie last weekend, and taking some awesome Sarracenia pictures, I have had the idea of starting something new, and this blog seemed to be the perfect idea. So what is the url?

http://sarracenia.tumblr.com/

That is right, I got a most awesome plant genus, as the name of my plant tumblr account.

What makes this tumblr better than a blogger account? Well for one, it is easier to post things to tumblr using the iphone. I have yet to find a good blogger iphone app, which annoys me, since most of the pictures I take are actually on my phone.

But it also lets me connect with the audience more. To the right of my tumblr page are two links. The first link is where people can ask me any question they want, and the second link is where people can submit plant pictures, and other information they would like to see on my blog.

I will try to post cool things at least once a week, but I went a bit crazy with excitement, and posted many times this past week. It also looks sleeker, and better equipped to handle the type of style needed for a professional looking blog. Where my blogger looks a bit more generic, and the posts seem more personal/random, a tumblr specifically for plants is exactly what I need.

One thing I do not like about tumblr, is the inability to leave comments on someones post. It is a bit annoying actually. In this day and age where social networking is all the rage, I would enjoy more interaction with the people reading my blog, but tumblr is still fairly new, and so with time, perhaps these other features will be added.

The Terrible T-Shirt Tear Stare

I looked to my right, and noticed her tear. My coworker had a tear in her shirt, and I couldn't stop staring. It was on her arm, and I was about to call her out on it, but she noticed it as well and told me to stop staring, with a smile on her face.

It looked like a wild animal had chased her down and got the better of her clothing. Like a squirrel, or other wild creature managed to rough her up, catching her, seemingly, when she least expected.

I smiled too. Not at her shirt, but at her smile. I felt like a little kid. The best kind of feeling. The best kind of friend, is one that you can re-live your childhood memories with.

A while ago, I wrote what I still consider, one of my best blog entries, on Platonic Cuddling. Actually, if you search "platonic cuddling" on google, my post is one of the first choices that pops up. The entire point of the post was that verbal communication is mostly a facade. It is superficial. It is what you want others to see, but it isn't the true you, because you are not words, you are a human being. And you are not your past, or the sum of your experiences, you are a person just trying to live life like everyone else. And mostly, the post was about showing love to people who are not your significant other, in a way that is nonsexual. To pay attention, not to a story being told, not to whom someone is trying to portray, but to the actual person for the persons sake. To pay attention to, what I call, the awareness within a person.

To quote myself:

"I also believe that if people cuddle more often in groups, we may care about each other more. Perhaps it is only when we feel each others warmth, when we look into each others eyes, and when we pay attention to the awareness within our friends, that we can really know the true value of a human life. Platonic cuddling may not be widely practiced, but used in this way, it has the power to prevent wars."

Why did we smile? It wasn't because the t-shirt was torn, and it most certainly was not flirting. Maybe I saw something in her that cannot be expressed in words. Maybe it was a kindness, or an innocence. Maybe it was because she noticed me noticing her torn t-shirt, and in taking notice, was aware that I was aware. This awareness of the awareness of others happens often in cuddling, but I have rarely seen it out of the context of cuddling. I have rarely seen it in young people. But it is very special in young people, and like cuddling, it should be highly sought after. Especially because when you're young, it's okay to be, easily ignored.

Am I losing touch? I used to have an ability to connect with people on a deeper level. But I find the frequency of connections on a decline. With some people the connection is always there, like with Donna. It is always the case, that when she is next to me, and I hold her, I notice her, and love her. I am comfortable with that. With a few other people it is always there too, like with my close friend, Noelle. I have never remembered having a conversation with Noelle where we didn't connect. And again, I am talking about a connection in a nonsexual way. It is more of a connection where the context of the conversation is irrelevant, and whatever actions taking place in the moment are irrelevant, and for a split second you notice that there is another person noticing the moment, and it usually results in an innocent smile. This can be very personal.

We often work so hard on our persona. Whether it be creating a tumblr where everyone can see out latest clothes, or where we tell stories of how we were hanging out with our significant others. How often can we convey our existence without the use of anecdotes, or by increasing our shadow on the world (by leaving a bigger footprint of ownership). I think that most people have never felt the awareness within others, and that is why they lie, and cheat, and why we vote for politicians, and have to create paper and coins that we value. It is all a facade. Because connections do not happen often, when they do happen, they are personal.

And so the stare, and smile, for now, were terrible. Too personal. Why am I an introvert? I have only recently become an introvert. Today I stared at a tear, but I let someone else stare at my soul. Who was the vulnerable one? Who was the one opening themselves up? And was the smile with me, or at me?

The only question I can answer is the one that I didn't need to talk about. Someone today told me I was lucky. They were telling the truth. I am lucky. It isn't everyday someone takes a moment to notice that there is a spiritual being inside of this physical body, and smile at it. Not everyday that someone looks past race, class, gender, and sexual orientation, and gives an honest, genuine smile. I am lucky, and I do not need you or anyone else to tell me why.

But it was also personal, and, terrible.