Out of Proportion

My aunt has done it again. A little crazy here and there I can handle, but a personal attack is too much.

I was with my mother, and she asked me to bring Mara's baby, who was walking up and down the stairs to her. Jennifer, my extremely smart and talented cousin, had the baby, and so I asked her to let me have her.

My aunt Jenny then asked me about the website wikileaks. I don't know much about it, except that it had recently released some confidential government documents which put our national security at risk, and that it's owner is currently being held in prison on rape charges. I told her about the rape charges, since I heard her already speaking about the documents.

I wasn't looking at her though. I was looking at the baby which was being handed to me. And she started asking why I have a problem with her. I answered that I don't, I was only there to get the baby, and she got upset. She came into the room where my mother was lying down, with a headache, and started complaining. Saying that I was ignoring her, and avoiding her. The truth is I wasn't. I just prefer to be alone. I haven't spoken to her more, or less, than any of my other aunts and relatives from Puerto Rico, except for my Uncle Junior, and my mother.

My Uncle Junior I am close to. He and I have video games in common. As for my mother, well... she's my mother.

The point is, my aunt Jenny is crazy, and she makes shit up. She came barging in. She asked my mother what problem I have with her. Thus breaking the 3 laws of relationships.

1. If you have a problem with someone, who is an adult, go to the person, not their mother.
2. If there is a problem with anyone, NEVER barg in and start a confrontation. Situations can mostly be solved with civil discourse.
3. If there is a problem, you ALWAYS look at yourself first, because there are two sides to every story, and unless you can see the person eye to eye, there will never be any resolution.

She told my mom she was asking me questions and I was ignoring her. Yes, true. I was ignoring EVERYONE. ask any of my cousins how many times I have walked right by them without saying anything, and they will say many. Also, I consider it a huge disrespect that she brought these things to my mother, instead of bringing them to me.

My mother started getting upset, and her headache flaired up. I shouted at my aunt. I yelled at the top of my lungs. YOU LIE. I told her I answered her fucking questions. I reminded her of what happened but she insisted that I was purposely going against her. That I was being quiet to her.

My mom ended the conversation very quickly. She yelled at Jenny AND me, saying we didn't have any respect. That she had a headache, and that we need to end it. Jenny left the room. And my other aunt, Evelyn, went into the room to get mom an Oxycotin, because her slight headache had flaired into something worse.

She is better now. I am at peace.

But damn, if I am calm, why would you go to my mother. Do you think there is something I will not tell you to your face that I will say in front of my mother?

I love my aunt Jenny, and I recognize that this is a tough time. But it is a tough time for EVERYONE, including me and my mother. Sometimes it is difficult to see beyond yourself. I have been worried about mom all day, and have been reminiscent about both my grandmother, and my dog, Heaven.

During the funeral, I pictured heaven running towards grandma. She is the first one I know to go, so my dog, which was put to sleep about 3 years ago, was waiting for someone, anyone, in my family to meet her. And I was also thinking about my grandmother, and the good times she had. And the times she would sit and watch novellas at night. How she was always up early. She was strong, and I can only imagine the pain she felt at the end.

But I have tried not to be in anyones way. I even told junior this morning, about how I wasn't going to shower before the funeral, because there were lots of people in the house, and the last thing I wanted was to be in anyones way. I didn't shower before the funeral. I showered at about 3 pm. When most people were away, and my sister and stepdad were about to leave.

I was not looking for a reason to be angry. But sometimes people are too much. What hurts the most isn't that I didn't even provoke her. If I had done something deserving of her anger, I would understand, but she just went off.

I will not stay shut though. I will defend myself.

Freezing in Florida

I am so cold here in Florida. I am sleeping in my cousin Eddie's room, and it was cold. It is alright when I am under the covers, but the morning hours are terrible. Tomorrow is my Grandmothers funeral.

I guess it makes sense that the temperature should be so cold at this time. I wish Donna were here to keep me warm. I hardly speak to anyone in my family. I like to be alone. Sometimes I think of grandmother, but mostly I think about my mother, and how well she is handling this. I am proud of her.

They keep asking me to join them and the family. They keep asking me to be with them during their time of grieving, and while they talk. They never talk to me. I am alone, even among people who seek me. They want to see my face, but they don't see me. Not like mom sees me. Not like Donna sees me. Nobody asks me what I am doing with my life, or whether I finished school, or anything.

I know, it sounds selfish, to want someone to talk to. Someone close to me. But I am alright, I am okay by myself in the garage, thinking to myself, and playing with my phone. But don't expect me to be grateful when people ask me to spend time with my family, when they never talk to me. Yes, I am a face. But to them, that is all I am. They talk to each other about each other, and about the family, but not to me. Not to me. Not at all.

Not one word.

Now my aunt Jenny is saying she wants to use the internet. I was in the room for a long time. For a long time she could have used it, but now I am on, writing this, and I will not get off until I am done. It is freezing in Florida, but the temperature seems just right. Just right.

It is cold here. It has to be cold, for people to be so loud, but to say so little. It has to be cold, for people to want to see a face, but not know or talk to it. Of course it is cold, this is my "family".

I purchased the tales of Beadle the Bard by J.K. Rowling. I read a bit on my way here, but I haven't had an opportunity to read since I got here.

Have You Ever Felt Like This?

Keith Olbermann Sends me an Email

Earlier this week, Keith Olbermann, political pundit and host of MSNBC's nightly show "Countdown", was suspended indefinitely, due to campaign contributions. Soon after, the twittersphere, and facebook was all abuzz concerning reinstating Keith to his original weekend. This past weekend, he was reinstated, and just today, Keith sent me, and many of his loyal supporters, an email:

BREAKING: Keith Olbermann just released the below "Statement To The Viewers Of Countdown"

---

Statement To The Viewers Of Countdown

I want to sincerely thank you for the honor of your extraordinary and ground-rattling support.

Your efforts have been integral to the remedying of these recent events, and the results should remind us of the power of individuals spontaneously acting together to correct injustices great or small.

...I also wish to apologize to you viewers for having precipitated such anxiety and unnecessary drama. You should know that I mistakenly violated an inconsistently applied rule – which I previously knew nothing about -- that pertains to the process by which such political contributions are approved by NBC.

Certainly this mistake merited a form of public acknowledgment and/or internal warning, and an on-air discussion about the merits of limitations on such campaign contributions by all employees of news organizations.

Instead, after my representative was assured that no suspension was contemplated, I was suspended without a hearing, and learned of that suspension through the media.

You should also know that I did not attempt to keep any of these political contributions secret; I knew they would be known to you and the rest of the public. I did not make them through a relative, friend, corporation, PAC, or any other intermediary, and I did not blame them on some kind of convenient 'mistake' by their recipients.

When a website contacted NBC about one of the donations, I immediately volunteered that there were in fact three of them; and contrary to much of the subsequent reporting, I immediately volunteered to explain all this, on-air and off, in the fashion MSNBC desired.

I genuinely look forward to rejoining you on Countdown on Tuesday, to begin the repayment of your latest display of support and loyalty - support and loyalty that is truly mutual.

When Violence Is Uncalled For

Violence is always uncalled for. No matter what someone says, or does, violence is always uncalled for.

I have been picked on in school when I was younger. I was always beaten, and always abused, both verbally and physically. Everyone has dealt with bullies once or twice in their life, but they seemed to attract around me like flies to a light.

My stepdad, Piry used to tell me to man up. He used to tell me to work out, and fight back. This animalistic ritual of fighting is never the answer. Yes, it might get one bully off your back, but losing your civilized mind, to become like an animal, and giving into those animalistic feelings, are not worth it.

So if someone were to tell me Puerto Ricans were statistically lazy, or statistically more violent than white people, I'd agree. First of all the statistics are true. Puerto Ricans are more likely to join gangs, and less likely to have good jobs for long periods of time. It is all true, there is nothing to argue. I am Puerto Rican, and I am not like that, but that doesn't mean there isn't a trend, so I do not get upset. When they shout those statistics, I am confident in saying I am an outlier, and it makes me happy.

However some people are not so happy when they hear the facts. They start screaming racism, and resorting to violence, and thus, they perpetuate the things that are said about them. Instead of saying "Oh, I will show them", and going out and getting a college degree, and a good job, they get upset and act like animals, and become violent, or threaten violence. WHY??? WHY??? WHY???

In life I have fought to defend myself physically. That is the only time it is okay to be violent. When your life is in danger. It is not okay to be violent when someone calls me a spic, and not okay to be violent when someone says I am no good, or lazy, even if these things are not true. I do not feel the need to beat people up who shout out stupidities.

But I do think there is a problem when other people feel the need to get violent, or to threaten violence. Words should never lead to violence. Sticks and stones, remember?

If I am saying something, and we are having a discussion, no one should ever tell me to shut up or they will slap me. This urge to violence, this compulsion, this pent up emotion expressing itself in physical form is juvenile, and anyone who gives into it is setting their people back thousands of years.

A few days ago, I was mugged. They took some food I brought at a grocery store, and I didn't fight back. The people who resorted to violence against me, set themselves back. They became a statistic to add into a long line of statistics. But most of all, they showed the difference between them and me. I have gotten into heated discussions in high school and in college, but I never felt the need to harm another person.

Biophilia is the love of living things. I have biophilia, and so I became a biologist. I grow orchids, and geckos in my house, and I feel strange in NYC, where I am not constantly surrounded by trees, or birds. I am comfortable in my life, and my love of life. And just because I am an easy target for people with less than good intentions, does not mean there is anything wrong with me, or that I need to "Man Up". My stepfather was wrong, and now he is in jail, another statistic, paying for the consequences of his actions.

I wonder if people who have the "Man Up" mentality aren't setting themselves up for failure. Instead of getting strong physically to intimidate people into giving you what you want, how about being different than what the statistics say you should be? How about going to college, and then getting a job, and not losing that job? How about, instead of "Manning Up", you grow up, and live in a civilized world, where survival of the fittest doesn't apply because everyone is well fed and thus surviving? (at least this is the case throughout most of America).

Most homeless people are starving, and not even they have the survival of the fittest mentality. They walk through the train stations asking for food, and donations so they can get something to eat. And yes, many of them have mental problems or vices, but they do not resort to intimidation or violence to survive. Meanwhile, other people feel the need to resort to these tactics to obtain something less than survival, like a new pair of shoes or a coat. Why is this so? What is going on in these peoples heads? And why is such behavior more prevalent in some races than in others?

It may be cultural or socio-economic, but the truth is, no matter what the reason is, it is wrong. Violence, unless it is an attempt to defend yourself is always wrong. It is wrong to be violent against your family, against the people you disagree with, and even against the people who are out to get you. This is 2010, and we have cell phones, and the internet, and have put a man on the moon, and have found out how to get energy from the sun. Either join society, or go to the jungle and act like an animal. But don't terrorize society because you can't control your emotions and have a grudge. And certainly don't blame society for your obvious shortcomings. For your inability to control your anger, or your emotions. For your overreactions to mere words. Society doesn't need to Man Up. YOU need to Grow Up.

Bring on The Zombie Apocalypse, When Terrible isn't Terrible

Nowadays, it seems like you can hardly look at pop culture sci-fi on a forum without coming up to a reference of the zombie apocalypse.

Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, Night of the Living Dead, ZombieLand, World War Z, Cell, and even the video game Left 4 Dead. In recent years people have become obsessed with the zombie apocalypse! In the 80's and 90's people were more terrified of the robot apocalypse, with movies like Terminator, multiple video games on the genre, and the book How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion

But will the zombie apocalypse be so bad? What is a zombie but an undead creature walking around in search for something to eat. Yes it is more animalistic than our current state, but is it anymore animalistic than any other scavenger?

The truth is, most of the time, people wander around, do some work, and get money, to then pay rent and eat. While working Saturday, the day before Halloween, a zombie came into the store and asked for some water, and the thought came to me, that a zombie apocalypse wouldn't be so bad. Not at all. While walking home from work, I passed by many people, and in my mind, I saw them all as zombies. There was no real difference. They seemed to walk around aimlessly, but it wasn't too hard to imagine.

It would be terrible though, but exciting. I think the sentiments were best expressed by Willy Wonka, in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Watch the video linked until about 3 minutes and 15 seconds in.

Watch the Video

Willy Wonka knew when terrible wasn't terrible. Because sometimes terrible is used to describe degree rather than good or bad. For example, you can have a bad cough, an intense cough, or a terrible cough. They all mean the same thing, with the word before "cough" signaling it's intensity. If zombies were to start taking over, many people would be frightened, but I would welcome the change. We need a change. Any change. Too many things have been the same for too long.

Which I why I welcome small changes. As many of my readers know, I am not a very happy person, but I sometimes do get a chance to smile. This is a welcome change. It is also usually, very abrupt. But usually I stop smiling and look away after a while, not because it is bad, but because it is terrible.

Next time, I hope it lasts.

The Secret Cell Phone Sacrifice

My iphone is currently being restored to it's factory settings, latest firmware, and original software. Why? I am giving it away.

I got tired of the hackers being one step behind apple, and constantly waiting for the next unlock while I used an older phone which was less than adequate for sending text messages in 2010. Who texts using a dial pad anymore anyway?

My sister has connections, and she is going to get me a better phone. So I have to make a sacrifice, and give her my iPhone. So for a while I will have no text plus, no internet access where Wi-Fi is available, and none of the other great things Apple has made openly available to those with enough money.

I hope the new phone I get lives up to it's name. I hope the sacrifice I made by giving up my iPhone was worth it.

Very short blog today (comparatively). Also might not be able to tumblr much until I get my new phone, since I used my iPhone to take pictures, and post them to tumblr.

Oh what a sad day it is.

Sweet Sarracenia Solace

This week I recently started a blog all about Plants on Tumblr. This blog is about cool plants I see every once in a while, and where they can be found.

Recently I have been feeling a little down, but since going to the Botanical Gardens with Ernie last weekend, and taking some awesome Sarracenia pictures, I have had the idea of starting something new, and this blog seemed to be the perfect idea. So what is the url?

http://sarracenia.tumblr.com/

That is right, I got a most awesome plant genus, as the name of my plant tumblr account.

What makes this tumblr better than a blogger account? Well for one, it is easier to post things to tumblr using the iphone. I have yet to find a good blogger iphone app, which annoys me, since most of the pictures I take are actually on my phone.

But it also lets me connect with the audience more. To the right of my tumblr page are two links. The first link is where people can ask me any question they want, and the second link is where people can submit plant pictures, and other information they would like to see on my blog.

I will try to post cool things at least once a week, but I went a bit crazy with excitement, and posted many times this past week. It also looks sleeker, and better equipped to handle the type of style needed for a professional looking blog. Where my blogger looks a bit more generic, and the posts seem more personal/random, a tumblr specifically for plants is exactly what I need.

One thing I do not like about tumblr, is the inability to leave comments on someones post. It is a bit annoying actually. In this day and age where social networking is all the rage, I would enjoy more interaction with the people reading my blog, but tumblr is still fairly new, and so with time, perhaps these other features will be added.

The Terrible T-Shirt Tear Stare

I looked to my right, and noticed her tear. My coworker had a tear in her shirt, and I couldn't stop staring. It was on her arm, and I was about to call her out on it, but she noticed it as well and told me to stop staring, with a smile on her face.

It looked like a wild animal had chased her down and got the better of her clothing. Like a squirrel, or other wild creature managed to rough her up, catching her, seemingly, when she least expected.

I smiled too. Not at her shirt, but at her smile. I felt like a little kid. The best kind of feeling. The best kind of friend, is one that you can re-live your childhood memories with.

A while ago, I wrote what I still consider, one of my best blog entries, on Platonic Cuddling. Actually, if you search "platonic cuddling" on google, my post is one of the first choices that pops up. The entire point of the post was that verbal communication is mostly a facade. It is superficial. It is what you want others to see, but it isn't the true you, because you are not words, you are a human being. And you are not your past, or the sum of your experiences, you are a person just trying to live life like everyone else. And mostly, the post was about showing love to people who are not your significant other, in a way that is nonsexual. To pay attention, not to a story being told, not to whom someone is trying to portray, but to the actual person for the persons sake. To pay attention to, what I call, the awareness within a person.

To quote myself:

"I also believe that if people cuddle more often in groups, we may care about each other more. Perhaps it is only when we feel each others warmth, when we look into each others eyes, and when we pay attention to the awareness within our friends, that we can really know the true value of a human life. Platonic cuddling may not be widely practiced, but used in this way, it has the power to prevent wars."

Why did we smile? It wasn't because the t-shirt was torn, and it most certainly was not flirting. Maybe I saw something in her that cannot be expressed in words. Maybe it was a kindness, or an innocence. Maybe it was because she noticed me noticing her torn t-shirt, and in taking notice, was aware that I was aware. This awareness of the awareness of others happens often in cuddling, but I have rarely seen it out of the context of cuddling. I have rarely seen it in young people. But it is very special in young people, and like cuddling, it should be highly sought after. Especially because when you're young, it's okay to be, easily ignored.

Am I losing touch? I used to have an ability to connect with people on a deeper level. But I find the frequency of connections on a decline. With some people the connection is always there, like with Donna. It is always the case, that when she is next to me, and I hold her, I notice her, and love her. I am comfortable with that. With a few other people it is always there too, like with my close friend, Noelle. I have never remembered having a conversation with Noelle where we didn't connect. And again, I am talking about a connection in a nonsexual way. It is more of a connection where the context of the conversation is irrelevant, and whatever actions taking place in the moment are irrelevant, and for a split second you notice that there is another person noticing the moment, and it usually results in an innocent smile. This can be very personal.

We often work so hard on our persona. Whether it be creating a tumblr where everyone can see out latest clothes, or where we tell stories of how we were hanging out with our significant others. How often can we convey our existence without the use of anecdotes, or by increasing our shadow on the world (by leaving a bigger footprint of ownership). I think that most people have never felt the awareness within others, and that is why they lie, and cheat, and why we vote for politicians, and have to create paper and coins that we value. It is all a facade. Because connections do not happen often, when they do happen, they are personal.

And so the stare, and smile, for now, were terrible. Too personal. Why am I an introvert? I have only recently become an introvert. Today I stared at a tear, but I let someone else stare at my soul. Who was the vulnerable one? Who was the one opening themselves up? And was the smile with me, or at me?

The only question I can answer is the one that I didn't need to talk about. Someone today told me I was lucky. They were telling the truth. I am lucky. It isn't everyday someone takes a moment to notice that there is a spiritual being inside of this physical body, and smile at it. Not everyday that someone looks past race, class, gender, and sexual orientation, and gives an honest, genuine smile. I am lucky, and I do not need you or anyone else to tell me why.

But it was also personal, and, terrible.

The Golden Gecko Grievance

The last time I visited my local Petland to purchase crickets for my gecko, I was so baffled by the ass complex conundrum that I missed the opportunity to write about my Golden Gecko Grievance.

While in the Petland I saw something repulsive, but sadly common here in NYC. While waiting for the crickets for my own Golden Gecko, I walked over to the reptile section to see what they had for sale. I was particularly interested in seeing if they had any crested geckos for sale, since I was so pleased the last time I purchased a crested gecko (at a Reptile Expo).

They didn't have any crested's but they did have a 10 gallon tank with over 7 geckos in it! Many were Golden Geckos. The first rule of owning reptiles is you NEVER place two males in the same tank, and you NEVER place 2 geckos in the same tank if the tank is small. A 10 gallon tank, while the perfect size for one Golden Gecko, is not a good size for 7 geckos.

While looking in the tank, I wondered how stressed these geckos were. They didn't seem to be fighting while I was in the store, but many were hiding behind rocks and fake leaves. That is when I noticed the second disturbing thing. A Tokay Gecko and a Flying Gecko.

Now normally, it is okay to have Golden Geckos and Tokay Geckos in the same tank, provided the tank was big enough. A 10 gallon tank is simply not big enough . And as I kept looking I also saw a striped Gecko and a Flying Gecko, all in one tank. Over 7 geckos, and 4 different species in one small 10 gallon tank? It is inhumane. It is almost as bad as running a puppy mill! The second rule to owning geckos is this: Whenever possible NEVER EVER mix 2 different gecko species within the same tank!

Now I was a bit upset, but this is the only Petland in my area, and I have been to various other Petland Discount stores, and I have witnessed the same thing. But something really drew me furious that day. While looking at a Golden Gecko, I saw it had a gash where it's eyebrow should be. It has been fighting. Of course the workers at Petland probably never saw them fight, since when geckos fight, everyone is most likely off work, but it is very upsetting to see the gecko in a dangerous living situation. I began to think about how many geckos died in this Petland alone. Rule 3 of raising geckos: If a gecko is in a dangerous situation in a tank, PUT IT IN ANOTHER TANK!.

I understand that Petland might not have the brightest employees (although I am sure many of them have college degrees and feel just as sorry for these animals as I do), but I am shocked. They are in a position to do something about the conditions these animals are in. They are supposed to be knowledgeable about the animals they sell. And they have everything they need to house and care for these animals right there in the store!

In short, there is no good reason why these animals were put under these horrible conditions, and the only thing I can think of is that it saves time, or money, to do it this way. But is time and money worth the health of these animals? And what about the ethical or moral implications of having animals which are known to be fighting with each other in potentially dangerous situations by placing them in close proximity to each other?

So my Golden Gecko Grievance is this: Why is it that big corporations like Petland are able to rule the Pet Market when they know so little, and seemingly care even less about what they are selling?

The first answer that comes to mind is money. But that is a different story entirely.

It is a good thing that I am quickly finding solace in something very different. The Reptile Expo date is coming up quickly. I am attempting every method I know to save as much as possible so that I may be able to purchase a better tank for my crested gecko, and perhaps another Sarracenia.

The Ass Complex Conundrum

While on a quest to buy 30 crickets to be brutally massacred by an insatiable Golden Gecko, I noticed something particularly troubling. 2 teens, who should have been at school around 12:30, were passing by in short skirts (which was appropriate attire 2 months ago, but now they are pushing it), while 3 hispanic/black men were heckling them about the size of their butts. Now, I am not a prude, and I do appreciate a sizable butt, but I have noticed a trend in the Bronx, and the trend itself is more troubling than the action itself.

I have personally never shouted at a stranger on the street to let her know how "fine" her "ass" is on that particular day, and for some reason, I have never felt the need too. I am not gay. I do enjoy butts, and yes, when they are nice and plump they are fun to play with, along with a healthy set of boobs, but my problem, again, isn't with the action itself but the trend. Why do men feel the need to shout out to every girl they think is hot? Does this actually work on any girl? In my mind, this would actually decrease their chances of obtaining what they (biologically) are trying to work for.

Also, I like when girls wear short skirts, and tight shorts. This is no secret. I don't always get a hard on when they pass by, and so I do not share Sir Mix Alot's sentiment, when he stated how he got"sprung" when a girl passed by with an 'itty bitty waist, and a round thing" in his "face". But one reason for not saying (or shouting, as the men today were doing) at these girls is because it may make them feel uncomfortable. They may get self conscious when grandpa (did I mention all the guys looked 40?) starts hitting on them. I can imagine tomorrow they will wear something else to prevent the guys from yelling about how they want to "tap that", and thus decreasing the short skirts and tight shorts for everyone else's viewing pleasure.

And that is the Ass Complex Conundrum (ACC). Why would a man point out a girl with a nice butt, and revealing clothing, publicly, when it decreases the number of girls with revealing clothing, and simultaneously decreases his chances of getting what he wants with that particular girl?

I have 2 possible explanations for the ACC. The first is biological. I personally think there is something wrong with these men. They salivate like dogs at the sight of these women. Perhaps they biologically cannot help it! It may be a mental issue, or it may also be hormonal. Perhaps an increase in testosterone or adrenaline (or both). And no, an increase in testosterone does not make you more "manly", only more dickish (according to my observations).

The second possible explanation for the ACC is religious. Men do it in packs. It is a communal experience between males where they get together to worship the butt. I like the religious excuse better than the biological one. Religious people have faith in things that will never ever happen. Christians have been waiting for the return of a zombie for over 2 thousand years! In the same way ACC as a religion makes sense. They will worship the ass, making it harder to obtain, while simultaneously feeding into their faith that they will one day obtain it. I also like the religious excuse because it can be untaught. Religion is like culture, it is not engrained or hard wired, just practiced, and thought to be the correct way of doing things. Most logical human beings will switch over to a different way of doing things, if it is shown that the different way is better. The religious excuse has a cure, and gives me hope, the biological one puts fear in me.

Wow, I admitted on my blog that religion gives me hope… (awkward silence).

So, comment questions for those who want to respond below:

1. Come up with an excuse for the ACC that is not biological or religious or

2. Do you support or object to ACC?
Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comment section below.

The Comic Con Conclusion

For those not in the know, Comic Con is a pop culture convention, usually involving comic books, movies, games, books (such as Harry Potter and Twilight), people dressing up, and a plethora of vendors trying to sell their merchandise, whether it be books, comics, action figures, video games, or even photo ops. Comic Cons usually have companies releasing new and never before seen footage and teasers of movies and games as well. For those in the know, Comic Con is where you want to be.

So, why am I not at the NYC Comic Con (Oct 8-Oct 10, 2010)?

The answer is simple. Besides the fact that I am only free on the 10th of October, the ticket price is 40 dollars. If I did go, I would want to dress up, and that costs money too. Not only that, but what occurs at Comic Con is usually the same thing that occurs at a Reptile Expo. People are trying to sell you things. There is nothing you can do about it.

I could have gone, but I decided to save my 40 dollars. The money was worth more to me, than the experience I would have had at Comic Con. Yeah sure, I probably would have had a few photo ops with sexy women dressed in tight latex costumes, or with a few Alien / Predator/ Zombie/ Vampire fiends, but 40 dollars is not worth the photo ops.

Is 40 dollars worth seeing previews to movies, or video games? I certainly don't think so. Especially when the previews and teasers quickly become available online, just a day or two after being released.

The truth is, Comic Con is only fun if you have someone else who is willing to shell out the money to go with you. Never alone, and only with friends. The conclusion? The NYC Comic Con, a once a year event, is too expensive for my blood, and I personally do now know anyone willing to go with me. And since I will not be able to buy anything there anyway, and since the "released" and "leaked" footage has already started to flood youtube, it would have been a waste of money anyway. Or is that what I am telling myself, because I plan not to go?

My Comic Con conclusion? Stay at home, do not pass go, do not spend 40.

Something Wrong

I think there is something wrong with me. I have an overall feeling of disappointment, and I do not know why.

Is it depression? My mother has been depressed in the past and she described it to me as an overall feeling of gloom, immense sadness, and a nagging idea in the back of your head that this is all there is in life and nothing will ever get better. I have one of those feelings. I am not sad, just disappointed. My disappointment doesn't make me happy, but it doesn't make me sad either. Actually, I have been finding it difficult to remember a time when I was happy. I have been to a reptile expo recently, read a few books, played a few games, but the things I used to enjoy don't seem to give me the same pleasure they once gave me. Even my flowering Cattleya is resonating more as a matter of fact, rather than a joyous accomplishment.

A lack of emotion. That's what it is. And a feeling that this is all there is in life. A job that doesn't pay rent, which forces me to remain a prisoner in my mothers house. A lack of social interaction, except for my girlfriend who I see once or twice a week. Other than that I have no friends I actually hang out with. I would hang out with my former roommate, Jonathan Castillo, but he is in Vermont. I called him to let him know how my life is going, which is also out of character for me. I hardly call anyone. Perhaps this basic human need for face to face interaction is taking over my normal introverted personality.

I would call Ernie, but I doubt he would want to here about how badly my life is going. Badly is the wrong word for it. I have a job now, so it is financially a step up from before, when I didn't have any source of income at all. Also, my family is no longer moving, so that is better too. But I still cannot live on my own, and I have become a parasite on my mothers wealth (since she pays rent, and I live with her). And although the living situation is stable, and the 800 dollars I make a month is helpful, I am still disappointed and a bit nostalgic. I wish I could go back to college. In college I was just as broke as I am now, but I was happy. I would give up what I have now to go back in time. Even though it is "better" now, in college I wasn't disappointed. I didn't feel like nothing would change. I had hope. I had something to look forward to. I don't want to call Ernie to burden him with these thoughts. With my disappointment. Ernie is like Donna. I tell them the story of my life, and I can tell they feel bad. I can tell that Donna feels sad when I tell her how I feel, and I can tell Ernie isn't happy with the way my life is going either.

Empathy. When one person is feeling crappy, and he shares his story, the people he shares his story with also feel crappy. Why the hell would we ever evolve something like that? It is like an inter-individual para-neo-psycho syndrome (I came up with that one from paraneoplastic syndrome).

I have given up one of my favorite holidays for this year. I have decided I do not want to celebrate Halloween. It is my favorite, and most costly holiday of the year. I decided not to dress up. And although I have the day off of work, I am not sure I actually want to do anything. I know, I am boring. Last year, I was the Mad Hatter. Memories of me, Donna, and Anja still fill my head. Nostalgia. Sometimes good sometimes bad. If I can't remember good times, I would have no reason to feel disappointed. Nostalgia is like a precursor to my current status. If only there were someway to forget everything. To get a second chance. To let this current life die and be born again.

OH NO. I have stepped away from sanity and crawled myself into a filth ridden hole called religion. I told myself I wouldn't go there. I wont go there. But I need a way out. Medication may help. I should see someone. If not to fill me a prescription for happy pills, maybe I just need someone new, someone fresh to talk to.

I wish I could write more. I have a lot more to say, but my alarm went off, and I am now on my way to work.

Flowering Cattleya

So, I have a yellow Cattleya which flowered!

The orchid was given to me by my good friend Ernie DeMarie earlier this year (in the spring). I have been watering it regularly, and I always let it drain completely. It is by a sunny window, and so far, it has one flower on it, but there is another bud that is about to open soon.

I was excited to see it flower, but the biggest surprise came in the morning. Early in the day I noticed a sweet scent coming from it, but in the afternoon and evening the scent goes away. My mom really likes the flower, but I refuse to put the plant in the kitchen for everyone to see, because it is less sunny there.

Here is another picture of the plant on it's side:

An Ancestor's Tale Review

I finished reading Dawkin's book, an Ancestor's Tale, about a week ago.

The book was a journey back in time to meet the ancestors of all living things. First we moved from out ancestors, to the ancestors that united us to Chimpanzee's and Bonobos, and other apes, and monkeys, and so on and so forth, until we were back to a time where we were all one. Along our DeLorean time travelling journey, we meet other extant species, and they follow us back in time. Of course there are weird splits, like mitochondria, and chloroplasts, which have their own DNA, but in general, everything works out. As we meet other extant species, we learn a bit about their biology, and we even learn somethings about ourselves, such as colorblindness, the importance of HOX genes, and why the Dodo died.

Dawkins is especially cautious with his dates, and even is humble enough to point out where uncertainty lies within the phylogenetic trees. This is shocking, since many people claim he is self absorbed with his identity as an atheist. Many people know him by his stance on evolution and militant atheism, and while there was a small hint of this in our pilgrimage to the dawn of evolution, this book mainly dealt with the biology of life, rather than the philosophy of our place in the universe. If you are looking for Dawkins book on atheism, I suggest you read The God Delusion.

And surprisingly enough, this book was rather candid at what it was trying to do. It by no means was attempting to prove evolution over intelligent design, or put forth an argument as to why you needed to head evolution as the explanation for the diversity of life on earth. It just led us on a pilgrimage back in time to meet the ancestor's of all living things with the assumption that evolution is true. This was a relief to me (I have a degree in biology), because I really was getting tired of hearing the topic argued and debated. If you are looking for reasons why evolution is true, and is a better explanation for the diversity of everything than ID or creationism, then look no further than Dawkins book The Greatest Show On Earth.

I especially enjoyed learning about the diversity of life through this book. It went over some of the more obscure extremophiles, and gave an in depth history as to the migrations (according to fossil evidence) of various lineages. Along the way many extant species that joined the pilgrimage told their "tales".

But giving you a summary of their tales will be useless. What you want to know is: Did you enjoy reading this book? And to that I must answer, not particularly. As a biologist, I found some of the tales interesting, and the manner in which it was written (as a humble journey to the past), as a creative and inventive way of teaching biology. However, it was obvious that this book was not written for a general audience, but with an educated audience in mind. So I am left in awe at Dawkins need to constantly try to re-educate and remind his readers of things that should already know. He spent a large amount of time discussing radioactive dating techniques, and going over different isotopes and their time scales. He also went over things like tree ring data, and magnetic dating (from the reversal of the poles in underwater volcanic rock). I feel like he is treating us like little kids. I have heard of these methods of dating before, and I found it mind-numbingly painful to re-read all about them.

I also found it painful for him to go over different techniques of genetic, phylogenetic, Bayesian, and Taxonomic analysis. I have taken Phylogenetics and Taxonomy in college, and do not need to be reminded of their techniques, or of the various reasons why different techniques give different trees. Maybe a reader who has not met the pre-requisites necessary to understand your book might need a course in modern biology, but most of your readers do not.

Overall, I found the trip enjoyable. If all of my above complaints were omitted from the book, he probably could have omitted 50 or so pages of material. So what use is this book, other than a headache inducing bore-fest? It is the perfect template for the teaching of biology at all levels!

One of the biggest mistake the public education system makes, is waiting until high school to teach young people about evolution. Yes, science is taught in middle school, but energy transfer, trophic level interactions, and identification of animals (fish vs. mammal), are not the important cornerstone of biology. Evolution is. Predator prey relationships evolved to be that way. Identification lies on the foundation of differentiation caused by sexual isolation. In other words, we do our young people a disservice by teaching them biology outside the context of evolution. Dawkins ties many biological principles together nicely. Mimicry, poison as defense, and even methods of evolution itself (genetic drift, physical isolation, natural selection, sexual selection…), are all discussed in the context of a journey to the past.

This model for teaching evolution only has one flaw. The book itself is anthropocentric. What I mean is, we go back in time from humans. We could just have easily chosen Venus Flytraps as our starting point, or Cichlid fish, or Crested Geckos. Yes, humans are familiar, and we can all relate to them, but it sort of shows evolution as coming to a point, a climax, or as having a goal. Dawkins makes clear in his book that natural selection has no ultimate goal other than to take existing variation and narrow it down to variation best suited to survive and reproduce in certain environments, but starting with people is a wrong move for its connotations. It gives humans an importance over all other extant species.

Now, for the second question which any review needs to answer: Should you read this book?
Are you familiar with biology and science? Then yes, sure read it. You will most certainly learn a lot about diversity, and how most of life is connected, or related to everything else. But this book is not meant for everyone. It tends to get technical and with our current generations brains in a constant ADD, most likely caused by instant gratification, and television, most people will not have the patience or the ability to concentrate enough to appreciate this book. Anyone with Asperger's syndrome who a biophilia should most definitely read it. Other than that there is not much else to say.

Now half of you probably saw this was about Dawkins and were expecting a rant on atheism, or a list of reasons as to why religion is stupid. Well, to appease this interest, and since you read this far, here is a recent video of Dawkins protesting the pope! Enjoy:

Richard Dawkins

I am almost done reading an Ancestors Tale by Richard Dawkins.

I will post a review about it when I am done with it (most likely tomorrow), but I was wondering, what are you views on the professional biologist/neomilitant atheist?

I have read The God's Delusion also (after I became an atheist), and I thought it was a decent book.

However I am not sure how I feel about the man. He seems a bit cocky, but I think that comes when you have worked so hard to get to such a prestigious position in life.

Your thoughts?

House

So, I started watching House yesterday. I borrowed a friends season 1 DVD. I watched a few episodes.

While I think the show itself is great, and House is a relatable character, I cannot stand when they show the operations, and inner body stuff. It is a bit disgusting. Some people can get used to that stuff but I always look away.

Comment question of the day:
How do you feel about House? or How does watching operations, and other messy medical procedures affect you?

Job

At this point in my life, I am looking for a job. Not just any job, but a good job.

I found a position working in a restaurant for 9 an hour. The position is a cashier person, at a small chicken place on 14th street. The chicken is tasty, but the vegetables are to die for.

But I will continue my search. Why is a person, like myself, settling for this when I have a college degree, excellent qualifications, and even better recommendations? I applied to be a file clerk at a skin surgery place today. Did it go well? I am not sure. I think that is a good thing. I didn't want to come off as too confident, and I didn't want to come off as too quiet/antisocial. It is difficult to find a good balance.

But for now, I need to get undressed, and dressed to go to work at the chicken place. EVERYONE WISH ME LUCK

Michelle Phan IRL

I saw Michelle Phan IRL.

It was at Sephora in NYC during Fashion night out. I was able to make a bad video on my iPhone. And here is the results.

Daylily!!!

As many of you know, I grow day lilies! I also grow orchids and other things, but I have mostly day lilies.

This year I have been taking many pictures of my day lily garden. I have posted them on facebook, and you can see the two photo albums here and here. I have been meaning to blog about them for quite sometime, but only now do I have the chance.

To anyone who has grown Hemerocallis, you know this genus likes water. Many times during the summer these plants seemed like they weren't doing too well, just because I forgot to water them, but I was still blessed with more than enough pictures, and seeds (hybrids? I hope so!!). Some of the flower stalks also produced clones which I am happy about.

Munny 3.0

On August 2, 2010 Dan Brown started a project called Dan 3.0. This project was intended to give control of his life over to the internet community! The internet community now has control over what Dan does. All anyone needs to do is to go over to dan30.com, and propose or vote on an idea.

Many people are taking this as an opportunity to try to change the world. To try and see how things would be like, if governments and businesses had similar models. Many of the proposed tasks are silly, or just for fun, like go skydiving, or do a cross country trip around the 50 U.S. states. However many of the tasks have a deeper meaning, like giving to charity, or donating time at a soup kitchen, or even giving money to homeless people!

However, there is one task in particular I am eager to see Dan complete. At this moment, if all the tasks are sorted by most positive votes, the task I am talking about lies on page 40, out of over 400. This means that the task is in about the top 10 percent of tasks, but it still has a long way to go.

The task I am talking about deals with munny dolls, and it is very simple. Have Dan Brown obtain a munny doll, then decorate it, and sell it. After recovering his original investment, the money will go to charity! This will definitely work and be successful simply because of Dans popularity!

But if you are going to vote for this task, you can do so for many reasons. The first reason is the obvious charity aspect of the task. The second reason is that it promotes KidRobot and munny's! Imagine what a boost it would be for KidRobot, to have Dan Brown decorate a munny doll. Not only does it promote KidrRobot as a company, but it also promotes the central idea of the KidRobot community, which is to foster a community of artistic expression, something that many of the other Dan 3.0 task suggestions have been lacking.

One last reason to vote would be to have an influence on Dans life this year. Many people seem to be claiming that this project has the ability to change the world. Wouldn't you want to be a part of it?

If you would like to vote for the Munny task click here!

Application Here, Application There, Applications EVERYWHERE

I have been applying for jobs constantly over the past few months. No one seems to be hiring, no matter how many emails, applications, or phone calls I make. Some people tell me I am stuck in a crappy situation, while other people tell me I should take this as an opportunity to take time off.

A third option I here from people often is that I should go get a Masters. Yesterday I had an idea which trumped all of the above. I am going to get a Bachellors Degree (again!), but this time in Nursing.

What change of events is this? What can possibly have spured this crazy idea? While applying for jobs I am constantly seeing ads for nurses. Especially on careerbuilder.com (not so much on craigslist). I looked online for the salary a nurse makes, and it is a lot more than I am making! For my first job out of college, I made a bit over 10 thousand dollars for that first year. This is now my second year out of college and I am making nothing!

What is my dream in life? My dream is to one day own a greenhouse where I can propagate plants and sell them. I also wouldn't mind owning a little room where I can raise Crested Geckos to sell as well. But this dream of mine will never be realised with degrees in business, biology or horticulture. How will I ever be able to raise the money needed for that type of a career, with degrees that don't have any good jobs associated with them (at the moment). I do not regret getting the B.S. in Biological Sciences, but now it is time to realise the dream, and the first part of it is obtaining a career that will get me paid.

Nursing seems like just the career for me. I am certainly smart enough to be able to handle the job, and if anything it is always in demand (supposedly, although I have been lied to about this in the past.

Anyway, I am now printing out the application for nonmatriculated students at a NYC college where I can obtain the prerequisites necesary (hopefully in one semester) to be able to become a nursing student!

The next step, after I am sure I am "in" is to start applying for the actual nursing program! Everything is going to happen so fast! But the pace is half the excitement. Let's do it!

Oncidium, Lycaste, and Plectranthus!

Lots of things to cover today, so lets start from the top!

Lycaste

When I last spoke about my Lycaste aromatica it was to give you the horrible news that it appeared to be quickly dying! To recap, I put the plant outside, and I don't know if it was a lack of water, or the immense heat, or too much sunlight, but the darn plant started turning brown! I quickly brought it inside and blogged about the occurrence.

The leaves from my last Lycaste post all fell off, and all I was left with were 3 bulbs. One lost it's green color completely. The fate of my Lycaste was in question, and all seemed lost, until today! I learned from my friends that even if a plant looks dead, you should still water it, and try to take care of it. This is because, plants, as it turns out, have a tendency to come back! While watering my plants today I noticed that my Lycaste had a new growth of leaves!

I am happy my Lycaste is showing signs of revival, but I am now a lot more cautious about this one. The best of the best learn from their mistakes. My mistake? Putting it outside in the first place. From now on, Lycaste is strictly part of my windowsill garden, no matter how shady the area outside. Given the number of heat waves and record temperatures hitting NYC recently, I wouldn't trust this plant anywhere else...

Oncidium

I have 3 Oncidium orchids. One is Oncidioda charlesworthii 'Mishima', another is Onc. Tsiku Marguerite 'Romantic Fantasy', a cream colored fragrant Oncidium, and the last was, until recently, a mystery! That is until yesterday, when the darn thing finally decided to break bud and flower for me! I had spoken about this plant recently in youtube videos! The following video was uploaded to youtube on May 10th. If you fast forward the video to 2:30, you will see me talking about the growth on my Oncidium, and wondering if it was just a leaf, or an actual flower stalk!

In my last video for the PhoneticFriends youtube channel, I was able to show the orchids flower stalk, with many flower buds on it. The following video was uploaded on July 19th, 2010, about 2 months after the first signs that the plant was about to flower. Growing these plants have sure been a test of patience:

But it wasn't until yesterday, July 20th, 2010, that the first flower opened up! I was able to get a (pretty bad) picture of the flower on my iphone! Here is the result:

Yes, I know the picture is really bad, but you can still get a feel for the colors. It is a reddish purple flower with a fat lip, and very thin petals/sepals. The petals and sepals themselves are a light pink color, while the lip is a very dark purplish red. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be any fragrance on this plant, but it is still an awesome sight! If anyone can ID this plant for me, I would thank you kindly!

Plectranthus

A while ago, a horrible thunderstorm ripped apart a Plectranthus 'Mona Lavender' that I planted outside. I have many individuals of this same plant that were all cuttings of a plant that I obtained from the University of vermont Greenhouse. My other 2 Plectranthus are in pots, and were near a wall, so they didn't get torn apart as badly. But this one... I found tattered and torn on the border of the property, tangled within the metal wires of my neighbors fence.

I did the only thing anyone would do. I took the plant, and carefully placed cuttings of it in water. I think I now have about 5 or 6 cuttings of it, which have rooted pretty well, but I may leave them in the water for a few more weeks, until the weather gets back into the 80's. Then I will pot them up for the winter! And when spring hits... hahahaha. Mother nature better be ready! These babies are going right outside again! Life has given me a lemon of a situation. I am making lemonade!

Anyway, here is a picture of the plants growing roots in plastic cups:

Daylily Surprise! And Lycaste Horrors!

Earlier this year, Ernest DeMarie, who has a blog of his own, decided to let me have a good portion of his daylilies!. After growing them all spring, they have started to flower!

The first one to flower was the Malaysian Monarch! The first flower to open up did so on June 16th, 2010. And the next one to open was on June 22nd. Both flowers were from different plants, so I know that at least two of them are the same. I tried to self pollinate the second flower that came up. We will have to wait a while to see what comes of this, but I hope it's seedlings are as beautiful as the parent. Here are some pictures:

The plants themselves have had a rough year, as you can probably notice by the leaves. After being dug out of Ernies garden, I left them outside for a night before putting them in the ground (I came back too late to put them in). I think many of the roots dried out considerably during this time, and once they were put into the ground, my constant watering has helping them recover. Many of my lilies have had leaves which were turning yellow, or which were extremely dry, starting from the tips and running down the leaves. However, they all are alive, and seem to be doing better.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for the Lycaste from my last post. While it is a beautiful plant, I decided that putting it outside will help it get more light. I put it in a shaded area, near a bush. However this was a horrible idea. The leaves started turning brown from the tips, and even worse, the leaves started flopping! This is never good for any plant, much less an orchid. I have since brought the plant indoors in an attempt to recover it. One leaf is not almost completely brown and the other is turning brown slowly from the tip. Any Lycaste growers with experience who might be able to help me, please comment below!

And here is a picture of the poor Lycaste aromatica:

In both pictures you can clearly see that the damage is both severe and intense. Now I know better. Many people online says the thing grows fine at home, so i am keeping it indoors until further notice.

In the second picture a keen eye might be able to make out an oncidium about to flower. I will definitely blog about this, if the event comes to pass!

Lycaste aromatica

This past weekend my girlfriend, Donna, stayed over my place, and we had one of the best weekends ever. We had gone to six flags and we took many photos.

One of the better parts of the trip was heading out to see Ernie. He has given me so many plants this year, it is hard to thank him enough. Perhaps posting a link to his blog will help. Click here.

While walking through his collection I was able to witness awesome orchid blooming outside his house. I saw how he resurrected a near dead spring cactus. I also witnessed a Cattleya with a beautiful scent by the window. A flowering Pinguicula was also nice. However the most awesome part was when he gave me one of his Lycaste aromatica!

Donna was kind enough to hold the plant for me while I took pictures. I didn't know the flower wouldn't last long. It is now turning a dark brown color :(. To be fair the flower did last from Friday throughout the weekend until Monday, when it started to loose all of its fragrance.

I have wanted a Lycaste aromatica ever since I was in high school. Now I have one! I hope it flowers more next year. According to the pictures online, the plant has the potential to flower profusely (10 or more flowers), in any given year. Too bad I have to wait a year to see what it does.

On another note, the wiki page for this orchid is a stub. Click here to see it. There is no information on where the plant occurs, what kind of hybrids can be made with it, what the scent of the flower is like (cinnamon), nor how common the plant is. I know I am not very popular in the blogosphere, but if anyone cares to make this worthless stub of a wiki page actually worth looking up, feel free to edit it!

On one last final note, my Oncidium is about to flower. More on that later!

Oncidioda charlesworthii 'Mishima'

I got a new orchid in my collection!. It is Oncidioda charlesworthii 'Mishima'.

I was so happy I decided to make a video. It is here on my blog now!

The Nine Inch Nails Fiasco

I work the front desk here at L Hostels, and few guest recommendations are difficult to fulfill. Usually a guest wants a towel, or to reactivate their key card. Something that is easy to accomplish with little or no effort, and is of no stress to me. I am glad to put a smile on a guests face.

So I came in to work on Saturday night. I was set to work the night shift, from 12 a.m. until 8 in the morning. On the way to work I was listening to the Rachel Maddow Show from the night before. I had downloaded the podcast on my iPod Nano, which was given to me from my job when I was employee of the month. Many months have passed by, and to my knowledge, there has not been another employee of the month for a long time. Something I think they lost sight of, but anyway...

I just shrugged it off as coincidence when the show on my iPod ended, and I found I was at my destination. Perfect timing is too cliche for it. As I turned the corner on 118th street onto Adam Clayton Powell Blvd, I noticed loud music. There was party in one of the storefronts. The last meeting the hostel had was mostly about communication, but I wasn't told about this. I was deeply disappointed that I wasn't told there was going to be a party on my shift. Perhaps this is another reason why I felt pushed to look for another position.

I entered the hostel to find Cynthia at the front desk. She was doing her job, calm cool and collected. She is short and pretty, but not my type. I noticed the radio was on. Z100. Mainstream pop. I also noticed what was playing on Paladia. A Nine Inch Nails concert. It was more my style, but I let the guests have their brainwashed pop music.

My shift started, and Lady Gaga came on. It must've been the 10 thousandth time I heard Bad Romance. An asian guest quickly came, asking to change the music to the Nine Inch Nails concert. Claiming it was his favorite band. I obliged. I like Nine Inch Nails too, but unless I had a reason to, there was really no point in changing the music. I changed it.

Not two minutes later a guest came to complain. Saying that the music was annoying her, and that she preferred to hear something mainstream. I told her, when it came to Rock, you couldn't be more mainstream than Nine Inch Nails. But anyway. I wasn't going to change it for some spanish lady who doesn't really know music. Nine Inch Nails is awesome, and a nice change from Lady Gaga.

Also the asian guys already asked me to put Nine Inch Nails on, and they were playing pool. I wasn't going to say, I can't put the volume on, but you can see the video. Also, I wanted to hear the music. So I told the lady, I wasn't going to take off Nine Inch Nails. Was I being selfish? NO!
The music hadn't even been on for two minutes. The asian guy wouldn've thought me a jerk, or a douchebag if I had changed it so early.

The female came back about 3 minutes later, and I changed it back to Z100. I hate making those types of decisions here. I should be able to listen to Nine Inch Nails at 1 a.m. at my job without being persecuted. Nine Inch Nails is mainstream, although I wouldn't call it pop. I changed it so she didn't have a bitch fit. What some guys calls a Titty Attack, but I usually call it a chick attack. It is when females for one reason or another overreact for the smallest details. They care so much for something so trivial. It makes no sense. Most woman have committed this offense at one time or another.

Anyway. This is the Nine Inch Nails Fiasco. The asian guy looked at me less than 1 minute late when Kanye West started playing. I know his pain. I hate it too.

Killing Ms. Figman

There is one guest at my job, Ms. Figman, who I would love to kill.

As I entered my shift for sunday night, Cynthia told me guests were complaining about Ms. Figman. They were complaining that she was being loud, they were complaining that she was smoking in the room, and they were complaining that she was being inconsiderate. As for what she was smoking, it wasn't cigarettes and it wasn't weed, according to the guests. Cynthia thought it might have been crack, but I had no evidence for or against anything other than heresay, so I didn't say anything.

Until about 6 a.m. Working the night shift sucks, and after a long shift, I would like nothing more than to go home and go to sleep. I don't need to make conversations with fucking crazy people. She came by to tell me the computer she was on wasn't working. She told me she swiped her credit card, and they cut off her internet. I told her she would not be charged for the time she didn't use. She then told me she put a dollar into the computer. I told her the minimum was 2 dollars and she started arguing with me! I have been working here for months, and the computers have ALWAYS been 2 dollars for 20 minutes, and now she was going to try to contradict me with her doublespeak?

But it gets worse. She asked if she could get a refund. I said no. I give refunds when the computers malfunction, not when someone doesn't know how to use them. I wanted to add the word dumbass. But the story gets better...

She then asked what was wrong with me. She said most people working here were normal, and asked if I was imitating someone.

NO I AM NOT FUCKING IMiTATING ANYONE! SOMEONE IS IRRITATING ME, and if she keeps on...

If she keeps on...

New Terrarium

The New Year started out with many surprises, but one of the best ones is this new terrarium I received from Ernie. He is a plant guy, like me, and you can read his blog here.
I received the terrarium the same day he gave me the gecko back. I am still going to get a crested gecko on the 24th of January, just so I can walk around the house with it. But this tank is awesome, and the plants he gave me were legendary. Lets see what survives, and what suffers. Some of the plants I had from before are having a tough time.

There was a basket of plants left at my job for about 3 days, so I took it, and decided to try and save all the plants I can. It didn't work out that well. Most of the plants are suffering. Even the one I put in the gecko tank is suffering (although in that heat from the heat lamp. I think only cacti or succulents can survive it).

Here is the tank as I set up originally. Since then I placed both my plectanthrus in the tank, and one of them decided to flower. I think it is happy. But my favorite plant in the tank is the Begonia. It looks so big. It is legendary. I hope it survives!!!

New Year

My New Years celebration was awesome. I spent it in bed eating chips and drinking beer. I am not really the party type. However I am happy that mom didn't suck me into her plans. She always makes me go to one of her friends house, where there is loud music, drinking and dancing. I don't like to dance, nor do I really like loud music. Low volume tunes from jason mraz, John Mayer, Daft Punk, and Gorillaz are always okay. But spanish reggea (reggeaton), salsa, and bachata, are not my idea of new years. But I am starting everything anew. The only thing lacking were some friends to cuddle with. Maybe I would find someone cool and open minded for me and Donna to cuddle with in 2010, but I will not make it my resolution.

My avid facebook and youtube followers may have noticed that I have a new gecko. His name is gex, and he has HIS OWN BLOG! That's right, my golden gecko has a blog. You should all read it sometime. Here is the link:

http://gexfrombronx.blogspot.com/

I have started many things anew this year, not only my pet, which was given to me by Ernie, because I gave it to him to take care for me while I was in college, but I also have a new terrarium, with many cool plants, also given to me by Ernie. However this is not the biggest news of all.

I reformatted my computer, and I now have Snow Leopard! I gave up windows again. One big letdown, my iSight is not working. I will bring my computer to the geek squad once the weather gets warmer. It is freaking cold here in the city.

I am 23 now, since my birthday was the first. New Years and birthday wishes ran rampant on my facebook page, as they often do when a person has many people as friends. I really wish I could hang out with them a bit more often, but it is difficult to do so.

Other than that, many people have been asking me if I have a New Years resolution. It has taken me a while to come up with it, but this year I am going to be proactive. Take baby steps to completing small goals. I believe in this way the big goals will come my way. Getting a drivers license is one of the small goals I wish to complete this year, along with a few other small things. Hopefully I am able to get a raise or a better job, or figure out a plan to save my money more wisely.

I was thinking, perhaps because I just got out of college I was spending money, and then my excuse was the holidays, but now I have no excuse. Even my close friends who were here are no longer here. They left to go to Germany. All I have is Donna, who can be expensive at times, but it is still no excuse to spend money. I was doing a budget of what I spend, and most of my money goes on food. Eating out, whether it is a MacDonalds, or some other place. The best way to decrease consumption is to eat before I go out, or bring food from home with me. The second option is not really a viable one. I don't coo much, and what I cook is usually fried and unhealthy. Eating before I go out is alright, but I think that is not a viable option either, especially since I will always get hungry while I am out.

No, the best option would be not to go out at all, except for work. That way I am not tempted to eat out. Clever eh?